P no UPO

So, I've been keeping a secret from most of you.

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I've been saying the words over and over again, and yet I still don't think the reality of it has set in.

I.AM.PREGNANT. le sigh

Technically I've known for sure that I was pregnant since last Saturday but Mike didn't really believe me until Sunday. He was still convinced that the darkening tests were the trigger still. Silly guy.

Since I tested on my own I emailed the doc requesting an earlier beta (blood test that calculates the amount of hcg in your system). I was scheduled for my beta on the 27th but she agreed to let me come in today instead. Of course, that wasn't good enough for me so on Monday I ordered my own test from personalabs and went in to labcorp to get my own beta.

At 6dp5dt (11 dpo) my beta came in at 73!! That is fan-freakin-tastic! I was over the moon.

Today's beta at 10dp5dt came in at 724!! Thats got a doubling rate of about 28 hours!!!! Somebody hold me.

I feel so incredible blessed that my IVF/FET worked. I feel blessed to, again, be able to experience pregnancy. I feel blessed that the same people who cried with me through the hard times, cried with me during the great times when I told them the news.

Now, to get into the silly things. Lets talk about symptoms.
Transfer Day: crampy from procedure
1DP5DT: lower backache
2DP5DT: lots of pinching and cramping in uterus
3DP5DT: again, pinching and cramping, napped but woke up feeling icky, lower backache
4DP5DT: crampy, constipated, skin break out, gassy, nausea Tests begin getting darker
5DP5DT: heartburn, indigestion, insomnia, headache Mike finally believes me that I'm pregnant
6DP5DT: heartburn, tingly boobs, crampy
7DP5DT: heartburn, tingly boobs, hungry
8DP5DT: hungry
9DP5DT: insomnia, woke up at 3am nauseous, crampy, hungry
10DP5DT: insomnia, woke up at midnight nauseous

So for once, all these symptoms actually meant something. Finally.

So why do I think my first FET worked? Could it have been my faith necklace and my Path of Life Alex and Ani bracelet that I wore to my transfer? Could it have been the voodoo doll my mom gave me before I left for the doc office? Was it the McDonald's french fries? It def could have been Zac Efron's abs....I mean, watching Neighbors after my transfer and laughing my ass off. Honestly, who the heck knows why my embryo stuck but I could not be more hopeful and more thankful and more humble than I am at this moment.

I have a long way to go yet. More blood work. Ultrasounds. Checkups. There are so many milestones I need to hit with the ultimate goal of delivering a healthy baby in January. Please keep my tiny poppy-seed in your thoughts and prayers as we patiently await news of a heartbeat in the next few weeks and everything else beyond.

PUPO

Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

So, what you are looking at here is my embryo detaching itself (bottom bubble) from the hard outer shell (top shell). The detached part is the part that implants itself into the lining. This is what a 5BB hatching blastocyst looks like.

Today was a day I will never forget. It's a day I never thought I'd experience either. Who thinks, growing up, that they will get to see their baby in the form of an embryo during IVF?

Anyway, I digress...

Today may have been the longest day ever. EVER. I even had Mike home with me and we ran errands while Nate was at school. Still, the day dragged on and on and on. I was constantly worried that once I got in the OR the doc would see fluid. Or that my embryo wouldn't make it through the thaw and they'd have to use another and another and another...you get the point. My mind just wouldn't stop.

My mom dropped by an hour before my appointment. She just got back from a work trip to New Orleans and she said she got me something at a voodoo shop. At first I was like 'hell no'. But she gave it to me and explained its all about good things. She said she stumbled upon this fertility doll....like it was meant to be that she get it and bring it back to me on my transfer day. ::shivers:: Right?

After she left I realized that after drinking a cup of water there was no way I was going to be able to hold it for another 1.5 hours. See, to do the FET, your bladder needs to be full. Well, I'm a bit tricky because my uterus is retroverted so it pushes on my bladder more making me drink less but pee more. Anyway, so I peed and just drank more on the way to the appointment.

We got there and waited and waited and waited. It felt like FOR.EV.ER. Don't these people realize I need to pee? Come on. Finally we were brought back and the nurse checked my bladder. Said it was good and we were just waiting for the doctor to come in.

One more sock picture for the album

Doc comes in and introduces himself since he is one of the docs there I haven't met yet. He explained what was going to happen during the process.

Here's where things went a little wonky. See, I already explained that retroverted uterus up above. Well its REALLY retroverted.

See the L shape that it makes.

Anyway, that makes it difficult for the doc to get to where he needed to be. He is supposed to pass a catheter through my cervix and get it right by my uterine lining. Well it kept getting stuck where my uterus makes the sharp curve. The embryologist had to bring my embryo over twice since the first time didn't work and he had to reintroduce the catheter for a second time. Finally after lots of uncomfortable movement of speculum while the nurse is pressing down on my bladder with the ultrasound probe they got the catheter right where they wanted it. They told us to watch the screen and we saw the embryo being shot right into the lining. It was absolutely fascinating.

I was told to lay there until 3:10 which was a really long time when you are in a cold OR room with nothing to really look at. Mike and I just kept making random jokes. At 3:05 I just couldn't hold my bladder anymore and got up, dressed and peed.

And that's it folks. I am officially pregnant until proven otherwise.

On our way home we stopped at McDonalds. Anyone who's on forums on teh internets related to IVF knows that there is a superstition that if you eat McD's french fries after your transfer, you will have great success. Who am I to anger the IVF french fry gods? lol

Doc said bed rest for 24 hours. Mike and I decided to hit up a comedy this evening. There was a study that said that if you laugh after a transfer it's gives better results. So I laughed and laughed and laughed. And yes, I know its not bedrest but its sitting down with my feet up just like I would have been doing at home.

2 weeks from today I will head in for my beta bloodwork to find out if I'm pregnant or not. It's going to be a long 2 weeks thats for sure.

Thank you for ALL of your thoughts and prayers. It means so much to Mike and I. We reflected today while waiting for our transfer on how far we've come since we first began this journey. I don't think either or us envisioned us to be where we are at right now but I don't regret a single second of it. It's made me stronger and it's made us stronger as a couple.

T minus 6 days!

In 6 days I will officially be more pregnant than I have been in 4 and a half years!!!

Lets rewind a bit....

Had monitoring appointments yesterday and today. Yesterday's appointment showed that I still had some fluid in my uterus but they didn't seem too worried about it.

When I came in today, the fluid was gone! So fingers crossed it stays gone because I was told to trigger today (an hour ago) with a transfer date of Tuesday at 2pm!!!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED. and nervous and anxious and somber and elated and and and

I got my medicine schedule paper and I am ready to take on this FET!

Bring it!!

Just Keep Swimming Just Keep Swimming

I'm keeping a care-free Dori kind of month. Just keep swimming.

My lovely husband scheduled for me to have a massage Saturday which was fabulous. Then Sunday I went and got my hair cut and colored. I haven't colored my hair professionally in like 10 years. It was a great relaxing weekend. And to give you an idea of how relaxed I am, right now my hubby and son are out doing manly car stuff and I am sitting here enjoying a glass of red and listening to ron pope, mumford & sons, and ed sheeran serenade me.

So anyway.....

My appointment today went swimmingly, though I had a bit of an upstream battle at times.

Got my blood drawn. From the poke on through until the end I knew that I was going to bruise. It was the way that the lady poked me, I knew it was going to leave a mark. Truthfully, that was the easiest part of my appointment.

Ugh, they're going to have to tap this vein again tomorrow since my other arm never cooperates

Got brought back into the room and Rhonda popped in. She said they'd check my lining, follicles and then they were going to perform a sono hysterogram (I'll explain this later).

Within the first 5 seconds of my ultrasound a big patch of fluid was staring back from the monitor. I started to explain how I thought it was mucous and Rhonda cut me off and said she 100% believes me and wants to aspirate it to prove to everyone I am right. So I agreed to the aspiration.

If you remember back in December I had the same stuff and same aspirations. Not fun. This time it took her 15 minutes to get it all out and no less than 3 different catheters with suctions on them. The last one was called the Tom Cat and that shit was serious. At one point I jumped off the table and I am usually real good about compartmentalizing pain. Yea, ouch. But anyway, she got it all. Yay.

She also did the follicle check and I have one dominant follie on my right measuring 16x16 and then a small follie on my left about 13x13. So the 16mm one is a few mm from being mature already. It's almost go time!!

The final thing they did was the sono hysterogram. This is where the place a catheter through my cervix into my uterus. Then they put the internal ultrasound probe back inside me and then they inject saline through the catheter and watch on the ultrasound monitor how my uterus looks. Well, thankfully my uterus is 'beautiful'. Rhonda said it was one of the best she's seen so yay for having one functioning reproductive organ.

Look at that beautiful uterus. Hopefully soon it'll be home to a new embaby.

So I'm back at the office tomorrow and I have a feeling I'll be triggering soon with a transfer sometime early next week.

FET #1 is underway (hopefully)

I guess it's time to bring you guys up to speed since I've been quiet lately.

An update on my embabies (if you are not a FB friend):
all 6 freezy frosties are hatching blasts graded 5BB (Hatching out of the shell, Several cells loosely grouped, Few cells forming a loose epithelium).

Here is a link to the grading system: http://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystimages.htm
And here is a link to pics of embryos in various stages so you can see what a hatching blast looks like: http://fertilitylabinsider.com/2010/11/embryo-stages-progression/

So all together the doc said she was very happy with these embryos. Statistic wise, embies rated 5BB are good (not great and not poor). I have faith that one of those babies on ice is my take home baby.

So what now?

FET #1, thats what. FET stands for frozen embryo transfer.

I had to wait for dear ole AF to show. And she sure did...in my neighbors kitchen on Sunday...lol. So I called the IVF dept on Monday and the next thing I have to do is come in on Monday the 5th for blood work and an ultrasound. I chose to do a natural FET as opposed to a medicated FET. There is no study that has shown that medicated has better pregnancy outcomes and since I ovulate on my own, I opted to give my body a break from the medicine.

Monday's appt will check my hormones (e2 and lh) and the ultrasound will measure my lead follicle. I will continue with monitoring appts until my lead follicle reaches mature status and then I will trigger using hcg. This allows the office to time my ovulation. Once I ovulate we will schedule my transfer 5 days later since my ice ice babies are technically 5 days old right now.

All of this will only happen if my body cooperates this month. No cysts and no fluid. We hope that by not doing any medicines my body won't have that weird fluid again. If its there I'll have to cancel and will probably have to have a hysteroscopy to check out my uterus and see if they can see a cause for the fluid. So cross all crossables for me? Thanks.