P no UPO

So, I've been keeping a secret from most of you.

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, I've been saying the words over and over again, and yet I still don't think the reality of it has set in.

I.AM.PREGNANT. le sigh

Technically I've known for sure that I was pregnant since last Saturday but Mike didn't really believe me until Sunday. He was still convinced that the darkening tests were the trigger still. Silly guy.

Since I tested on my own I emailed the doc requesting an earlier beta (blood test that calculates the amount of hcg in your system). I was scheduled for my beta on the 27th but she agreed to let me come in today instead. Of course, that wasn't good enough for me so on Monday I ordered my own test from personalabs and went in to labcorp to get my own beta.

At 6dp5dt (11 dpo) my beta came in at 73!! That is fan-freakin-tastic! I was over the moon.

Today's beta at 10dp5dt came in at 724!! Thats got a doubling rate of about 28 hours!!!! Somebody hold me.

I feel so incredible blessed that my IVF/FET worked. I feel blessed to, again, be able to experience pregnancy. I feel blessed that the same people who cried with me through the hard times, cried with me during the great times when I told them the news.

Now, to get into the silly things. Lets talk about symptoms.
Transfer Day: crampy from procedure
1DP5DT: lower backache
2DP5DT: lots of pinching and cramping in uterus
3DP5DT: again, pinching and cramping, napped but woke up feeling icky, lower backache
4DP5DT: crampy, constipated, skin break out, gassy, nausea Tests begin getting darker
5DP5DT: heartburn, indigestion, insomnia, headache Mike finally believes me that I'm pregnant
6DP5DT: heartburn, tingly boobs, crampy
7DP5DT: heartburn, tingly boobs, hungry
8DP5DT: hungry
9DP5DT: insomnia, woke up at 3am nauseous, crampy, hungry
10DP5DT: insomnia, woke up at midnight nauseous

So for once, all these symptoms actually meant something. Finally.

So why do I think my first FET worked? Could it have been my faith necklace and my Path of Life Alex and Ani bracelet that I wore to my transfer? Could it have been the voodoo doll my mom gave me before I left for the doc office? Was it the McDonald's french fries? It def could have been Zac Efron's abs....I mean, watching Neighbors after my transfer and laughing my ass off. Honestly, who the heck knows why my embryo stuck but I could not be more hopeful and more thankful and more humble than I am at this moment.

I have a long way to go yet. More blood work. Ultrasounds. Checkups. There are so many milestones I need to hit with the ultimate goal of delivering a healthy baby in January. Please keep my tiny poppy-seed in your thoughts and prayers as we patiently await news of a heartbeat in the next few weeks and everything else beyond.

PUPO

Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

So, what you are looking at here is my embryo detaching itself (bottom bubble) from the hard outer shell (top shell). The detached part is the part that implants itself into the lining. This is what a 5BB hatching blastocyst looks like.

Today was a day I will never forget. It's a day I never thought I'd experience either. Who thinks, growing up, that they will get to see their baby in the form of an embryo during IVF?

Anyway, I digress...

Today may have been the longest day ever. EVER. I even had Mike home with me and we ran errands while Nate was at school. Still, the day dragged on and on and on. I was constantly worried that once I got in the OR the doc would see fluid. Or that my embryo wouldn't make it through the thaw and they'd have to use another and another and another...you get the point. My mind just wouldn't stop.

My mom dropped by an hour before my appointment. She just got back from a work trip to New Orleans and she said she got me something at a voodoo shop. At first I was like 'hell no'. But she gave it to me and explained its all about good things. She said she stumbled upon this fertility doll....like it was meant to be that she get it and bring it back to me on my transfer day. ::shivers:: Right?

After she left I realized that after drinking a cup of water there was no way I was going to be able to hold it for another 1.5 hours. See, to do the FET, your bladder needs to be full. Well, I'm a bit tricky because my uterus is retroverted so it pushes on my bladder more making me drink less but pee more. Anyway, so I peed and just drank more on the way to the appointment.

We got there and waited and waited and waited. It felt like FOR.EV.ER. Don't these people realize I need to pee? Come on. Finally we were brought back and the nurse checked my bladder. Said it was good and we were just waiting for the doctor to come in.

One more sock picture for the album

Doc comes in and introduces himself since he is one of the docs there I haven't met yet. He explained what was going to happen during the process.

Here's where things went a little wonky. See, I already explained that retroverted uterus up above. Well its REALLY retroverted.

See the L shape that it makes.

Anyway, that makes it difficult for the doc to get to where he needed to be. He is supposed to pass a catheter through my cervix and get it right by my uterine lining. Well it kept getting stuck where my uterus makes the sharp curve. The embryologist had to bring my embryo over twice since the first time didn't work and he had to reintroduce the catheter for a second time. Finally after lots of uncomfortable movement of speculum while the nurse is pressing down on my bladder with the ultrasound probe they got the catheter right where they wanted it. They told us to watch the screen and we saw the embryo being shot right into the lining. It was absolutely fascinating.

I was told to lay there until 3:10 which was a really long time when you are in a cold OR room with nothing to really look at. Mike and I just kept making random jokes. At 3:05 I just couldn't hold my bladder anymore and got up, dressed and peed.

And that's it folks. I am officially pregnant until proven otherwise.

On our way home we stopped at McDonalds. Anyone who's on forums on teh internets related to IVF knows that there is a superstition that if you eat McD's french fries after your transfer, you will have great success. Who am I to anger the IVF french fry gods? lol

Doc said bed rest for 24 hours. Mike and I decided to hit up a comedy this evening. There was a study that said that if you laugh after a transfer it's gives better results. So I laughed and laughed and laughed. And yes, I know its not bedrest but its sitting down with my feet up just like I would have been doing at home.

2 weeks from today I will head in for my beta bloodwork to find out if I'm pregnant or not. It's going to be a long 2 weeks thats for sure.

Thank you for ALL of your thoughts and prayers. It means so much to Mike and I. We reflected today while waiting for our transfer on how far we've come since we first began this journey. I don't think either or us envisioned us to be where we are at right now but I don't regret a single second of it. It's made me stronger and it's made us stronger as a couple.

T minus 6 days!

In 6 days I will officially be more pregnant than I have been in 4 and a half years!!!

Lets rewind a bit....

Had monitoring appointments yesterday and today. Yesterday's appointment showed that I still had some fluid in my uterus but they didn't seem too worried about it.

When I came in today, the fluid was gone! So fingers crossed it stays gone because I was told to trigger today (an hour ago) with a transfer date of Tuesday at 2pm!!!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED. and nervous and anxious and somber and elated and and and

I got my medicine schedule paper and I am ready to take on this FET!

Bring it!!

Just Keep Swimming Just Keep Swimming

I'm keeping a care-free Dori kind of month. Just keep swimming.

My lovely husband scheduled for me to have a massage Saturday which was fabulous. Then Sunday I went and got my hair cut and colored. I haven't colored my hair professionally in like 10 years. It was a great relaxing weekend. And to give you an idea of how relaxed I am, right now my hubby and son are out doing manly car stuff and I am sitting here enjoying a glass of red and listening to ron pope, mumford & sons, and ed sheeran serenade me.

So anyway.....

My appointment today went swimmingly, though I had a bit of an upstream battle at times.

Got my blood drawn. From the poke on through until the end I knew that I was going to bruise. It was the way that the lady poked me, I knew it was going to leave a mark. Truthfully, that was the easiest part of my appointment.

Ugh, they're going to have to tap this vein again tomorrow since my other arm never cooperates

Got brought back into the room and Rhonda popped in. She said they'd check my lining, follicles and then they were going to perform a sono hysterogram (I'll explain this later).

Within the first 5 seconds of my ultrasound a big patch of fluid was staring back from the monitor. I started to explain how I thought it was mucous and Rhonda cut me off and said she 100% believes me and wants to aspirate it to prove to everyone I am right. So I agreed to the aspiration.

If you remember back in December I had the same stuff and same aspirations. Not fun. This time it took her 15 minutes to get it all out and no less than 3 different catheters with suctions on them. The last one was called the Tom Cat and that shit was serious. At one point I jumped off the table and I am usually real good about compartmentalizing pain. Yea, ouch. But anyway, she got it all. Yay.

She also did the follicle check and I have one dominant follie on my right measuring 16x16 and then a small follie on my left about 13x13. So the 16mm one is a few mm from being mature already. It's almost go time!!

The final thing they did was the sono hysterogram. This is where the place a catheter through my cervix into my uterus. Then they put the internal ultrasound probe back inside me and then they inject saline through the catheter and watch on the ultrasound monitor how my uterus looks. Well, thankfully my uterus is 'beautiful'. Rhonda said it was one of the best she's seen so yay for having one functioning reproductive organ.

Look at that beautiful uterus. Hopefully soon it'll be home to a new embaby.

So I'm back at the office tomorrow and I have a feeling I'll be triggering soon with a transfer sometime early next week.

FET #1 is underway (hopefully)

I guess it's time to bring you guys up to speed since I've been quiet lately.

An update on my embabies (if you are not a FB friend):
all 6 freezy frosties are hatching blasts graded 5BB (Hatching out of the shell, Several cells loosely grouped, Few cells forming a loose epithelium).

Here is a link to the grading system: http://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystimages.htm
And here is a link to pics of embryos in various stages so you can see what a hatching blast looks like: http://fertilitylabinsider.com/2010/11/embryo-stages-progression/

So all together the doc said she was very happy with these embryos. Statistic wise, embies rated 5BB are good (not great and not poor). I have faith that one of those babies on ice is my take home baby.

So what now?

FET #1, thats what. FET stands for frozen embryo transfer.

I had to wait for dear ole AF to show. And she sure did...in my neighbors kitchen on Sunday...lol. So I called the IVF dept on Monday and the next thing I have to do is come in on Monday the 5th for blood work and an ultrasound. I chose to do a natural FET as opposed to a medicated FET. There is no study that has shown that medicated has better pregnancy outcomes and since I ovulate on my own, I opted to give my body a break from the medicine.

Monday's appt will check my hormones (e2 and lh) and the ultrasound will measure my lead follicle. I will continue with monitoring appts until my lead follicle reaches mature status and then I will trigger using hcg. This allows the office to time my ovulation. Once I ovulate we will schedule my transfer 5 days later since my ice ice babies are technically 5 days old right now.

All of this will only happen if my body cooperates this month. No cysts and no fluid. We hope that by not doing any medicines my body won't have that weird fluid again. If its there I'll have to cancel and will probably have to have a hysteroscopy to check out my uterus and see if they can see a cause for the fluid. So cross all crossables for me? Thanks.

Resolve to Know More

Yesterday started the beginning of National Infertility Awareness Week. Clearly, this week is an important week to me. This years theme is "Resolve to Know More" and I've adapted it to mean that I am going to continue to educate myself as I learn more about infertility but more-so I plan on educating others to know more.

People talk about illnesses like cancer. People do not talk about infertility. Why? It's as common, if not more common, than some cancers. People you encounter every single day are suffering with infertility. 1 in 8. 1 in 8 freaking people are or have struggled with infertility. Look around at work...at the mall...at church. 1 in 8. And most of these people suffer in silence. Why? Because they feel stigmatized when talking about their reproductive systems like its something to be ashamed of.

I chose NOT to suffer in silence. I wanted my voice heard and I wanted to be the voice to those people who were not able to speak on behalf of themselves. I don't hide behind my diagnosis but rather I embrace it and what its made me become, both good and bad. I am strong and jealous and empowered and hopeful and scared and uneasy and everything in between clearly.

Some people may view my posts as being too much information. To those people, I'll tell you that its not too much information that I am sharing at all. If anything, I'm not sharing enough information. I won't shy away from the nitty gritty of what I am going through. Some of it is awful and gross and heartbreaking. But its every bit of MY Story. Its every bit of MANY women's stories all over the world.

So this week I will educate. I will reflect on where I've been and where I still have to go.

For those of you wanting to read my posts during NIAW '13 you can read them here, here, here, here and here.

(And for those of you following and wondering, we officially have 6 babies on ice).

8 out of 9 is mighty fine!

So as most of you saw, I got a portal message from the embryologist early this morning. Of the 9 eggs they retrieved, 8 were mature and they were able to fertilize all 8 eggs. That is insane!! I am so happy about these numbers I can't even begin to explain. My next report will be on Tuesday and we will be updated then on how many of those 8 are still growing.

I've been getting a lot of questions regarding whats next and instead of answering them in 3984324 different places I thought I'd answer some here.

What happens now that the eggs are retrieved?
They were fertilized and they are now resting comfortably in an incubator at 98.6 degrees. The staff at RAD will continue to watch and monitor the growth and development of the embryos over the next 5 days.

Will all 8 make it to day 5?
Probably not. Statistically it is unlikely, though it does happen. Embryos could stop developing along the way or never make it to the blastocyst stage.

Blastocyst stage?
This is the stage an egg should be at approx 5 days after retrieval. So, as we know an egg divides and divides and divides, etc. We want our eggs to divide until they become blastocysts as this stage is the best at having a healthy pregnancy as the outcome. My office will also continue to watch the eggs through days 5, 6 and 7 to see how many make it to the blastocyst stage.

How many will you transfer?
RADs goal is to transfer 1 day-5 blastocyst. If they believe my embryo is good enough to just transfer one I will be taking them up on their recommendation. They have their own grading system and each embryo will be graded. This grading system will help them determine how many embryos would be best for us to transfer.

Will you freeze the rest?
*IF* we have any left to freeze then we will absolutely freeze them. To qualify to be frozen they must be at the blastocyst stage so we are unsure if we will have any left to freeze until we see how they are growing. We will freeze the embryos until 1-we know we are carrying a healthy pregnancy and 2- we are sure we are done building our family. The cost for freezing is $650 (even less than I originally thought) and that covers 1 year of freezing. I'd much rather pay a couple years of freezing than thousands for ivf again. 

Fresh vs frozen transfer?
Fresh transfer is when they transfer the egg the cycle it is retrieved. A frozen transfer is when they thaw a frozen embryo and prepare your body for a frozen transfer cycle then transfer it.

What will we be doing?
Remember that fluid I wrote about last week in my uterine lining? Well the docs aren't sure if they want to continue with a fresh transfer with this fluid as it can impede implantation. I will go in on Wednesday for an ultrasound with Dr B to assess the fluid situation. As of my last look, the fluid in my lining was gone but the patch in my uterus was still there. If all things looks good fluid wise, we will be doing a fresh transfer Thursday afternoon.

What cheeks were the anesthesiologist rubbing during the procedure?
My face cheeks people. Geez...lol

9 is a lovely number don't ya think

Unusually calm. This is how I felt all yesterday, last night and most of this morning.

Mike and I arrived at the office around 7:05ish. Coincidentally before any of the staff had even arrived...lol. Better to be early than late, right?

A little after 7:30 one of my fav ppl who work at the office, Rhonda, brought Mike and I back to the IVF surgery center. I was told that we would be getting ready to start momentarily. Thats when the nerves kicked in.

I was brought to a bathroom to change and empty my bladder. This room also happened to be the 'mens deposit room' so its was....interesting....to say the least.

Once I was draped in my very open backed gown I rejoined Mike in the pre/post surgery area and met with the anesthesiologist. He assured me everything would be great and we would have no problems.

Once that was done it was go time!

I was brought into the ivf OR. I've been in this room before once when Dr Bachman checked on a cyst of mine so the sterility and coldness of this room wasn't shocking to me. The OR nurses had some music on and "What A Wonderful World" was playing followed by none other than my main man, Justin Timberlake. I had real good feels about this procedure.

The anesthesiologist got the iv in my hand and told me that if I got through that part, the rest would be easy. He told me that we were still waiting for the doc so he was going to give me a little bit of the calming meds and then kick them up once things got going. He kicked some of the meds in and in a few mins the doc walked in. I remember telling her that I was getting pretty sleepy...lol.

A few mins later they had me put my legs in these scary looking sitrrups and the procedure was underway. I'm assuming at some point the anestiologist bumped up the meds bc things are a little fuzzy. I do remember trying to look at the ultrasound machine but I kept getting tired...lol. I also remember that when the doc went to retrieve the eggs on my left side it hurt. That is the ovary that is all the way down by my butt. I could feel myself tensing with each needle punchture but the anesthiologist kept rubbing both my cheeks with his hands to help me focus on that instead.

Next thing I knew they were asking me to transfer tables and I was wheeled back in the recovery room. They brought Mike back a few mins later.

Not too long after that Dr. Bachman came by and asked me how I was doing. I told her that I expected to feel a lot worse and that aside from the dizzy/drunk feeling I was doing great. She told me we got 9 eggs. She seemed really happy with that number. She told me that tomorrow we will get a report from the embryologist on how many were mature and fertilized.

She said that she wants me to start the meds tonight in prep for a fresh transfer! So tonight I will start my Doxycycline (antibiotic pill), Medrol (steroid pill), Estrace (estrogen pill) and PIO (progesterone in oil shots in my ass). We agreed that it would be best to come in on Wednesday to check out the fluid situation and if all things look good Mike and I will return on Thursday for our transfer.

Rhonda brought me all my paperwork and went over everything with me. She pointed out that she didn't even fill in a 3 day transfer bc they have a good feeling that we will make it to a 5 day transfer. Yay.

I had Mike stop on the way home to grab some pancakes and sausage from McD's and while I wasn't starving, I def could eat. After eating I pretty much became comatose for 3 hours...lol. Thank you anesthesia. I woke up and went out to Border Cafe for lunch. Shhh don't tell  Dr. Bachman. She may get made since I'm supposed to be on bedrest. But honestly I felt really good and didn't do much besides walk into the restaurant and walk out.

So now, I'm just laying around. Mike is going to get the babe from the ILs soon. I missed him but I know he's having a blast over there.

Fingers, toes and everything in between crossed that my fertilization report is good and that my embabies grow big and strong over the next few days.

Loved my lucky socks for today.

Final bloat pic. OMG this was at 6:30 am with no food or drink for 8 hours. Bleh

Beautiful number right there! More than I anticipated!

And for your viewing pleasure my after retrieval pic. I do not photo well, clearly.

Most delicious lunch ever!!

My suck and sweet for today

Suck:
Funerals. They just suck. They are sad and emotional and draining. They remind you of good times, bad and everything in between.

Sweet:
My appt today at the doc went pretty well. My larger follicles are ready to go and the fluid that was in my lining has vanished. I still have a pocket of fluid in my lower uterus but that has gotten smaller as well.

I received a call while following the casket out of the church today. When I listened to the message it was the doc office. Today is trigger day!! Finally.

'Trigger' is a shot of HCG that will tell my body its time. It also will tell my body to ovulate at a certain time which is why its necessary for me to take my trigger at the time told to me by the doc office because the retrieval will be exactly 36 hours afterwards. The trigger will help finalize maturation of the follicles and give them one last boost.

So tonight at 7:30 I triggered with 10,000iu HCG. Saturday morning at 7:30 I will be put under twilight sedation and Dr. B will go in with an internal ultrasound guided needle, puncture through my vagina wall and aspirate all the follicles I've been growing. Ouch, right?

So this is it folks. I probably won't update until after the procedure Saturday. I will take any and all thoughts, prayers and good juju for a easy procedure and recovery and please, please, please pray that in the eggs that I get, they are of good/great quality.

Last appointment boring socks

Pic says it all

Trigger time!!

Yea, that looks fun

Mike preparing the site (my butt cheek)

I'm getting nervous now! lol

Here we go!!!

Some notes about my cycle as far for me to remember later on:
Follistim STILL gives me immediate headaches after dose
Ganirelix needle is dull and medicine HURTS
Bloating is out of control
Day 13...back is super achy
Ovaries feel heavy and full
13 days of stims (HELL)

8 blood draws and ultrasounds

E2 #s

BASELINE	3/25/2014	10.7
CD4	3/31/2014	44.06
CD6	4/2/2014	154.48
CD8	4/4/2014	463
CD10	4/6/2014	966.27
CD11	4/7/2014	1181.94
CD12	4/8/2014	1855.32
CD13	4/9/2014	2273
CD14	4/10/2014	2714

Bumps and Bruises but Still Holding on

::Yawwwnnnn::

I guess its time for an update, huh? Well up until today I didn't really have much to update about. Everyday it was the same song and dance. 7am blood draw and ultrasound. Afternoon phone call. Dinner time shots. Rinse and repeat.

Today I went in for my appt and things were looking much better. My follicles are finally plumping up. The nurse today counted 7 on my right and 3 on my left. Of those 10, 5 are measurable and more than likely mature.

Mid morning my phone rang a number I wasn't familiar with but I answered anyway. Good thing because it was Dr Bachman wanting to catch up with me. We talked about my fluid backup and what that means for the possibility of a fresh transfer. I told her that the only time I've ever had this pocket of fluid has been with the injectables. She agreed that its quite possible my body doesn't like the increased estrogen and its creating this pocket of fluid.

The temporary plan is to do the retrieval and then 5 days after I'll come back in to check on the fluid. If it's gone, we will do a fresh transfer that day. If it's still there I will freeze any eggs that are still growing at that point and do a natural FET (frozen embryo transfer) next month.

This wasn't what I had envisioned when I saw this cycle playing out but it seems like none of this has been.

The doc said that based on my e2 number and follicles she'd like to see me back in the office tomorrow morning for more monitoring and she is 80% sure she will have me trigger tomorrow night with a Saturday morning retrieval (and she happens to be the doc on call this weekend)l!! The end is near and I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That leaves about 3 days for the smaller follicles to try and grow nice and big for me.

There was also talk of a second IVF cycle but I don't really want to go into that right now bc I feel like thats getting ahead of myself and this situation.

So anyway, we are almost there. Thank all things that are holy. I feel awful. I look awful. My emotions are ALL.OVER.THE.PLACE. I'm ready to go back to being the part time bitch and not the all the time bitch that I am now.

10 Days worth of Headaches

Oh where to begin...

Well I guess let me backtrack some and start from the beginning.

I started stims (medicines) on 3/28. I was to inject 300iu Follistim and 10iu HCG nightly. I went in on day 3 for an ultrasound and blood work and was told that it looked like things were not kick starting well. And boy was that the truth. My body has been extremely slow to produce any follicles but despite the low start, my e2 (estrogen) has been slowly but steadily creeping up (tripling every 48 hours). I don't know if this was the result of me being on the birth control for so long. Some people can be over-suppressed and it makes them slow to respond to medicines.

Anyway, as of yesterday, I added in a third shot to my nightly regimen. Its a prefilled shot called Ganirelix. This shot is to stop me from ovulating on my own. They do this to try and give my smaller follicles a chance to catch up and mature.

So lets get to today. Yes, on a Sunday, I had an appointment.

Each ultrasound I have I pray for good news. For good looking follicles. Today's appointment was not the best news. When I was in on Friday the nurse found some fluid in my uterine cavity. She measured it and said that we may need to freeze all embryos and wait for fluid to clear up. Today when the doc did my ultrasound she said the same thing. The fluid had gotten so much worse in just those 2 days. After chatting with the doctor she said that because I have one blocked tube she feels that its dumping excess fluid back into my uterus. She also feels that my bad tube is somehow blocking blood flow to my ovary on that side (will explain this in a sec). She said that it would be best if we cancel, do surgery to remove the tube and then try again. I told her that we can't afford to cancel this cycle since we spent 8500 of the 10000 in medication benefits for this cycle and I've already used 75% of the meds. She said that's fine and the least we could do is retrieve the eggs and then work from there. She was going to see how my e2 levels were and then go from there.

Around noon today the office called and said my blood work looked good. They are going to continue with the cycle (at least for now) and have me come in tomorrow for more monitoring. My e2 is continuing to increase so thats good.

Now, the reason that the doc said that the tube may be blocking the blood flow to that ovary is because my left ovary is only producing 1 follicle. My right side is doing much better thankfully.

So, yea, I keep going into these appointments hoping for good news. And I know that a lot of this post is me randomly rambling on and I apologize for that. So much has happened this past week that I didn't really have time to write out individual posts about what was going on. I hope to be able to update a bit more from here on out.

Some pics of my past week:

My restrictions....womp womp

OMG these medicines make me SO BLOATED its embarrassing

Socks

Socks

My feelings on 7am appointments

More SOCKS. I officially ran out of cute socks after this appointment. Sad panda

What my stomach looks like after injections. The Ganirelix causes the rash

A Rough Start

This morning my grandma left her time on earth and headed up to Heaven. 

When I was younger I spent a lot (most) of time with both of my grandmothers. It's kind of what happens when your parents are young and you enjoy getting spoiled by your grandmothers.

At Grandma O'Neals I would spend my days out on her back porch sitting on her lap doing word search puzzles with her. She'd be sitting in her favorite rocker and I'd sit on her lap and look for the words with her. I'd help her cook dinner. She'd let me mix the ground beef with my hands or shake the chicken in the bag. Fun stuff for a kid. Not stuff I enjoy doing now though. 

She'd randomly change things around in her house or add stuff here and there just to see how long it would take for me to recognize the change. It was always quickly and we always laughed at how perceptive I was to the changes. 

There was this one time where she was bringing me home in her coveted car. I wasn't feeling well. I had taken some antibiotics a little earlier and it was making me feel really gross. She threatened me not to puke in her car. As soon as she pulled up to my driveway I got out and proceeded to puke all over the pavement. There was no way I was puking in her car. Nope.

One summer for summer reading I had to read The Trumpet of the Swan. She made me read aloud to her every day out on her back porch. She loved the story and I couldn't wait to get done with the book. Couldn't tell you what the story was to this day if you asked me. Funny how I love reading now, though. 

She loved listening to polka on her radio. I never did find enjoyment in listening to polka with her and often (always) asked her to listen to her tape of Another Brick in the Wall instead. Sometimes she would give in and I'd get to listen to that instead.

My memories can go on and on and I'm sure will become more abundant as I reflect on all the time I'd spent with her. She will be missed.

As for my IVF cycle. Well, clearly I should have held off a month, right? Sigh. Anyway, things are going ok. I'm stimming pretty slowly but I have about 7 follicles on one side and 1 on the other side that are growing. I'm having a lot of aches and pains and bloating. I have a monitoring appt tomorrow so I should know a bit more then since I think things should start picking up the pace here soon. When I know more I'll do a follow up post.

Happiness is a vial of blood and an internal ultrasound

Happiness isn't when your son is up at 3:30 with his tv on thinking it's time to wake up. Happiness *really* isn't when I can't get back to sleep after telling him HELL NO GO BACK TO BED because I start freaking out about my appointment today.

I digress.

Today's appointment was a suppression check and a medicine teaching lesson. If the results from my suppression check showed that my body/ovaries were not suppressed enough the whole cycle would be called off until next month.

Today's sock choice

Good news! All's quiet on the ovary front. Maybe a bit too quiet since I didn't really see many (if any) follicles waiting to be stimulated but I won't freak out about that yet. The nurse just said we will have to give them a hard jump start.

Medicine teaching part was easy peasy since I already did a follistim cycle and I watched the videos for the other medicines.

I also got my calendar of what medicines to take and when (well at least for the first 3 days).

Day 1 (Friday): Follistim 300iu, 10 units of Low Dose HCG and Doxycycline AM/PM (2 shots/1 pill)
Day 2 (Saturday): Follistim 300iu, 10 units of Low Dose HCG and Doxycycline AM/PM (2 shots/1 pill)
Day 3 (Sunday): Follistim 300iu, 10 units of Low Dose HCG and Doxycycline AM/PM (2 shots/1 pill)
Day 4 (Monday) I have a monitoring appt at 7am and they will call me later with medicine quantities.
(ps- I'll be updating the link at the top IVF#1 calendar with all my medicine info and appts)

I will continue with these 2 shots and then add in a third shot once my E2 levels reach a certain level. And it sucks because none of these shots can be combined with each other so thats 2-3 separate belly shots a day.

Blarg

But on an awesome note....today is the last birth control pill. Hallelujah. I took 43 days of these things and hated each and every day.

I took 2 whole packs plus an extra 1 from another pack. YUUUUCK

So, with 3 days to go I'm going to sit back, relax and enjoy the calm before the storm. Who the hell am I kidding?! I'm going to panic, freak out and eat my weight in ice cream to calm my nerves.

Water, pee, and funky socks

So I figured I'd start this post off with a series of pictures depicting my day then get into the deets afterwards.

I started today with a nice spring-like outfit (since despite the call for more snow next week, it *IS* technically spring). My berries already had the pleasure of this early morning selfie...lol.

The it was time to chug the water. Ugh. So in the car line waiting to drop Nate off I drank, drank, drank.

Nate and I took a car line selfie.

Once I got into the exam room and got ready for the mock transfer I put on my fashionable socks.

I decided to surprise Nate with some McD's for lunch when I picked him up from school. This is how he decided to eat said lunch.

And to complete my spring outfit, I decided to do a nice pale pink spring nail. Looooove it!

Ahhh then the offspring woke up from his nap and I noticed his tooth was chipped. Yay....not. (ignore the boogies...we are in a constantly battle with germs this school year).

And then the meds showed up. And while I was prepared for what was coming...having it all laid out is...well...overwhelming. I mean, I have 3 different types of needles. Eeek. And that doesn't even count the follistim needles that I'll use that go on the follistim pen. At least the pills I have to take are not monstrous. In case you don't know this fact about me...I can't/won't swallow pills. o.O

Now that that's out of the way I'll get to the actual mock transfer that happened today.

So I get to the office and don't really have to go to the bathroom so I, of course, drink more water. Yea, not a good idea...lol.

I was finally called back and the one nurse checked my bladder to make sure it was full enough (omg uncomfortable!!). She saw my retroverted uterus and said that works in my favor bc my bladder didnt have to be as full as other peoples. She also said thats the reason why I drink less and have to pee more.

Anyway, once she deemed my bladder acceptable she told me to sit tight and wait for the other nurse to come in and do the mock transfer. Ten agonizing minutes later she and the ultrasound tech finally came in!! She put the speculum in while the helper pushed all over my bladder with the ultrasound wand. Ugh. The nurse then passed the catheter through my cervix and when it was in positon said thats when they would push the embryo out of the syringe. Done. She told the ultrasound tech to stop with the probe (WOOHOO) and said she just needed to write down how far back the catheter had to go to get to my uterine lining and then she pulled everything out.

She told me not to be shy about getting dressed bc I had to pee so I jumped off the table sans anything on my bottom half, threw on my pants and ran to the bathroom...lol. After that she took me into a conference room and went over my meds (which meds I'll be using) and tentative dates for everything.

The tentative dates are as followed:
Stop bcp 3/25 (i also have the med teaching appt this day)
start stims 3/28
possible trigger 4/6-4/8
possible egg retrieval 4/8-4/10
if i have a 3 day transfer 4/11-4/13
if i have a 5 day transfer 4/13-4/15
(transfer date depends on quality of embryo and how I am feeling so they will make the call as time nears)
beta is 2 weeks after transfer

So, folks, there we have it. This is really happening. YAYYYYY!!!!